" "And," said I, wishin to return the compliment, "if you haint Green, you can pass any time for GREEN on a bust.

" "Ho I haint neber seed a ghost or hant but I sho don wanter see one neither.

Between you and I, aspirants for the honor of bordin with St. JIMMY are on the decline, Pitty it haint a gin-cocktail.

"Elder Williams he sez he'll come over regular for the communion," said Deacon Plummer, "and for baptisms whenever we want him, and thet's the main thing, for, thank the Lord, we haint many funerals 'n course of a year.

"Them gals haint no more faith in hoops and charity, than I have that the french peeple can live under a Republican form of government."

"HANK is a 4 hoss team at raisin food for the sowl; but when you come to depend on sich chaps to raise grub and other vegetables for the stomack, excoose me for sayin it, it haint H. WARD'S fort, no more'n it is mine to outsing NILLSON for the beer.

It haint your forte, no more'n it is some of our public offishals to keep from steelin.

I dident notiss any bill-boards hangin about your mouth, savin as how "Rooms was to let in your sky-lofts;" but contrary wise, it's my opinion there haint a tenement house in New York which is packed fuller of people than your figger-head is of slap-up idees.

As Shakspeer, who is now dead and gone, says: 'A rose by any other name Is sweeter-er than I, I've diskivered I haint the game

" "Ho I haint neber seed a ghost or hant but I sho don wanter see one neither.

Raisin children is a bizziniss which haint every mans best holt, and as long as you've got into the bizziness, excoose me for givin you a little wisdom, which you as a parent must swaller without makin up a face.

I dident notiss any bill-boards hangin about your mouth, savin as how "Rooms was to let in your sky-lofts;" but contrary wise, it's my opinion there haint a tenement house in New York which is packed fuller of people than your figger-head is of slap-up idees.

"Only this haint much the air 'f the New Jerusalem," returned Glover, glancing at the arid waste of buttes and ranges in the distance.

If I haint GREEN, who in SAM HILL am I?" "Old man," said the porliceman, tryin to quiet me, "you mite have been green before you struck Pittsburg, but if I haint mistaken, yoo've been out and got smoked up, and are now as black as the ase of spades.

If I haint GREEN, who in SAM HILL am I?" "Old man," said the porliceman, tryin to quiet me, "you mite have been green before you struck Pittsburg, but if I haint mistaken, yoo've been out and got smoked up, and are now as black as the ase of spades.

and haint it a mistery to you that you are allowed to go unhung? Did you commit the NATHAN murder?

Havin' served my country for 4 years as Gustise of the Peece, you can rely on my giving a good sound opinion, from which there haint no repeal to a higher court.

I haven't heard whether BISMARK'S or FRITZ'S upper storys were shaky, or not, but there haint the shadder of a dowt in my mind, but what both of these long headed chaps are madder than GEO.

You haint afeard to stand out baldly and face the sea of upturned red maskaline noses, or hily-frizzled, gorgeously-got-up femilines, and skatter Fiseology rite and left, not carin a pickaune who's hit or who haint.

"Well if you haint another WEBSTER, you'l pass for D. WEBSTER'S bust, any day.

Ewers trooly, & I haint afrade To jine the bread & butter brigade.