CHAPTER XXII THE PLAY "Sorry, sir," said the man in the box-office of the Grand, "but the house has been sold out for two days now.

He insisted on buying the seats himself, and after some parleying and explaining at the box-office, he and his companion were duly escorted to seats immediately in front of a flower-decked platform, where they were set down amidst a highly select company of correctly attired folk, who glanced a little questioningly at their tweed suits, both conspicuous amidst silks, satins, broadcloths, and glazed linen.

'My dresser finds out from the box-office.

The clerks from the box-office and several other persons employed about the house were whispering together in the little lobby.

It means that a decent, self-respecting chap has got to listen to himself saying things which, if spoken on the silver screen, would cause him to dash to the box-office and demand his money back.

The quack, on the other hand, is he who generalizes from the worst practices of the most vulgar theatrical journeymen, and has no higher ambition than to interpret the oracles of the box-office.

If he succeeded in so doing, his function would not be wholly despicable; but as he is generally devoid of insight, and as, moreover, the oracles of the box-office vary from season to season, if not from month to month, his lucubrations are about as valuable as those of Zadkiel or Old Moore.

Think of all these things, my friends, and then step into the box-office on your way out and sign the total abstinence pledge.

A benefit being given her, he announced that he himself would sell the tickets at the box-office, and he spent a whole day bartering his quick wit and his social influence, for increased prices.

" "Shillin'," said the box-office man, when Mr. Clarkson asked for a stall.

The Opera at Cologne had just become recognised as the principal attraction of the place, and as yet there was no suave interpreter in attendance to mediate between the queue of representatives of Britain's military power and the German clerk in the box-office.

We were still in the days when officers and men of every rank and every branch of the Army of Occupation used to wait in a democratic queue for the box-office to open at 10 A.M. It was 9.15 when I took up my position, beaten a short neck by a very young and haughty officer, a Second-Lieutenant of the Blankshires.

And such audiences have been nearly impossible to trace, later, in the box-office reports.

A dozen of us called at the box-office to ask about the victim of the accident.

MORAL: When in Doubt, try it on the Box-office.

Let's inquire at the box-office.

Delsarte considered this a protest: "I beg those who are only here to hear Mademoiselle Rachel," said he, "to step to the box-office.

Meanwhile, in the British trenches a few yards away, the box-office returns are being made up.

When Kate and I had a "benefit" night, they had an opportunity of coming to rather closer quarters, for on these occasions tickets could be bought from members of the company, as well as at the box-office of the theater.

BLUFFING Francis Wilson, the comedian, says that many years ago when he was a member of a company playing "She Stoops to Conquer," a man without any money, wishing to see the show, stepped up to the box-office in a small town and said: "Pass me in, please.

" The box-office man gave a loud, harsh laugh.

" "Oh, I beg your pardon, sir," replied the box-office man, as he hurriedly wrote out an order for a box.

"That ain't the hand I dealt ye!" A dumpy little woman with solemn eyes, holding by the hand two dumpy little boys, came to the box-office of a theater.

AUGUSTUS DRURIOLANUS has beaten his own record, and the Million of Money so lavishly displayed behind the scenes, is likely to be rivaled by the takings in front of the Curtainor to be more exact, at the Box-office.

He cared much less for the critics than for the box-office, and now transferred his work almost wholly to the national Théâtre Français.