Yesterday MacTavish, while engaged in taking his tub in the open, noticed that his bath-water was mysteriously sinking lower and lower.

" Brushing aside the coverlet of fowl I followed him tip-toe across the dewy mead to the tarpaulin which he and MacTavish call "home.

At the foot of our MacTavish's mattress, under a spare blanket lifted from that warrior in his sleep, lay a large pink pig.

Our Mr. MacTavish is a man with a past.

It was thus with our Mr. MacTavish, anyhow.

MacTavish sent in his papers and stepped ashore for good.

The evening of August 4th, 1914, discovered MacTavish sitting on the wall of his pig-sty, his happy hunting prospects shot to smithereens, arguing the position out with the terrier.

A month later MacTavish turned up in a Reserve Regiment of Cavalry at the Curragh as a "young officer."

The Riding-Master treated his case as no more hopeless than anybody else's and MacTavish was making average progress until one evening in the anteroom he favoured the company with a few well-spiced Naval reminiscences.

Next morning the Riding-Master was convulsed with merriment at the mere sight of him, addressed him variously as Jellicoe, Captain Kidd and Sinbad, and, after first warning MacTavish not to imagine he was ashore at Port Said riding the favourite in a donkey Derby, translated all his instructions into nautical language.

It did not take MacTavish long to realise that, no matter what he said, he would never again be taken seriously in that place; he was, in fact, the world's stock joke, a sailor on horseback (Ha, ha, ha!).

"He and MacTavish are up at Corpse H.Q.," said the skipper; "they're helping the A.P.M. straighten the traffic out.

"Well," resumed Albert Edward, "across the table from him sits our old MacTavish, lisping, 'What is the Atlantic?

I'll bet my soul they're in their billets at this moment, MacTavish mugging up some stable-patter out of NAT GOULD, and Blenkinsop imbibing a dose of ship-chatter from 'BARTIMEUS.'

They'll come in for food presently, MacTavish doing what he imagines to be a 'cavalry-roll,' tally-hoing at the top of his voice, and Blenkinsop weaving his walk like the tough old sea-dog he isn't, ship a-hoying and avasting for dear life.

" "But MacTavish?"

"Oh, MacTavish," said Albert Edward"MacTavish took an emetic.

MACTAVISH, ANGUS J., comp. Scotch; or, It's smart to be thrifty.

MACTAVISH, ANGUS J., comp.

"P.P.S.If MacTavish should raise a howl about his fawn leggings, tell him I have borrowed them for the day as I understand there will be V.A.D.'s present, and noblesse oblige.

" MacTavish and the Babe departed with the quest to prepare his mount for the ordeal, while Albert Edward and I sought out Ferdinand and Isabella, our water-cart pair.

That's where MacTavish is.

At 10.42 MacTavish walked into us, his lamp had given out and he wanted a new battery.

"Hello there!" came the hail of MacTavish from up the course.

"Yes, where is he?" "Begging your pardon, Sir," came the voice of the Mess orderly, "but if you was referring to Mister MacTavish he went home to bed half-an-hour ago.